"I Smell Dead People. And Spiders. Dead People Killed by Spiders".- Grey's Anatomy 10X01

Well this season premier was shocking. Too soon?

I'm going to try and make this as consise as possible because A LOT happened in two hours.

Meredith

Meredith and her cute baby run the entire show from her hospital bed. She makes medical decisions for Webber, aids Callie, and lets Yang attempt to take a nap in her bed. Girl has come a long way from being dark and twisty.

I was impressed with the handling of Webber's medical care and I may have kind of teared up when she admitted he was family at the end. Meredith has a habit of denying reality until it finally hits her, and this time was rather touching.

Alex and Jo
Alex and Jo waste no time and attempt to have sex in the on call room. Where Alex has had sex with many women. And, you know, the mudslide and death kinda ruin the mood. Then they try and have sex in the supplies closet, but Alex has had sex in there. Alex, stop having sex in the hospital.

Cristina and Owen
I was 800% behind their breakup. Honestly, it should have happened sooner. Christina needs to find someone amazing, and personally I want her to meet someone just as brilliant as her. I never felt like Burke and Owen were on her level. But at least they're finally broken up? And making up for all the sex Alex and Jo aren't having.

Jackson and April
Jackson rebuffs April's proposal and tell her to decide what she really wants. And what does she really want? Cute EMT guy.

Yeah. That's totally going to last. I give it to November sweeps.

The Interns
In all honesty, I dislike most of the interns. I like Jo and Mousey, Smiley's alright, and I hate the other two. Smiley spends the whole episode dealing with his guilt, which I give about 2 episodes before everyone knows, and everyone else tries to bond. I guess Jo and Jackson's intern can bond about sleeping with their bosses?

Webber and Mousey
Mousey is told to go find Webber, and she dumbly walks into the water without checking the scenery, gets electrocuted and hits her head. I totally thought that Webber was going to die and Mousey would be seriously injured. The actress was cast on another television show, so I thought they would give her an out while keeping the door open for her to return and leave us and everyone else with the emotionally disturbing death of Webber.

But no, Mousey is no more. It was sad to watch the interns reaction and even sadder to watch Bailey struggle against Avery's mom and Meredith. And why on earth would anyone give control to Avery's mom? I know she's the owner of the hospital, but come on. That's a clear conflict of interest.

Callie and Arizona

Now, I've saved a this portion of the episode for the end of this, because I have to rant. And it's about Arizona and Callie. If you've gone near Tumblr since the finale, everyone hates her.

First off, Callie telling everyone about Arizona and leaving without telling her was shitty. Second, Sophia is Arizona's kid. Arizona may not have wanted her right away but she has been Sophia's parent since her birth and has every right to want to see her kid. Thirdly, this isn't some new betrayal because A) Adultery is a theme in Grey's Anatomy (this topic is covered wonderfully here: ) Hell, in this episode there was a huge discussion about the Chief's adultery which Meredith forgave him for. This isn't new. B) Shonda researched the effects of losing a limb. Basically, people who lose a limb do out of character things for up to years after the incident. and C) Grey's Anatomy lives in these grey (haha) areas.

I get both sides. Callie didn't experience the accident, just the aftermath and Arizona got both in big fucking ways. And no matter how much Arizona apologizes, the fact of the matter is that Arizona cheated.

And Izzie cut the LVAD wire. Meredith opened the test results. The chief cheated. Alex killed a patient. April slept with Jackson (I'm not saying sleeping with people is bad. This is Grey's. In April's moral compass it was bad and this season we've seen her come to terms with it. The end). George cheated. Alex told a patient's husband information that resulted in a lawsuit for Addison. Owen cheated. Teddy married a patient for the insurance. Derek cheated. Meredith cheated.


Good people do bad things and then have to figure it out after. That's Grey's Anatomy. So Arizona is not a whore or a bitch, she's someone who screwed up after a traumatic event. And I for one am excited to watch these two try to work it out.
Rant over.

What are You Watching?

What I'm watching (bold is non-network, italicized is midseason):

Sunday: The Good Wife, Revenge, Downton Abbey, Game of Thrones, Homeland
Monday: Castle, HIMYM, Sleepy Hollow, Lost Girl
Tuesday: S.H.I.E.L.D., Pretty Little Liars, Ravenswood
Wednesday: Modern Family, Nashville, Suburgatory
Thursday: Parks and Recreation, Grey's Anatomy, Scandal, Parenthood, Elementary, Community 
Friday: Haven

There are a few midseason shows I'm considering: Crisis and Us & Them, but I'm not sold yet.

What I'm for sure NOT reviewing:
HIMYM, Castle, Modern Family, Suburgtory

I will be reviewing Downton but with the American schedule, not the British schedule that is currently airing. I won't spoil anyone here, but my Tumblr might.

This may change because no one decided to consult my emotional health when creating that Thursday schedule. Or maybe I'll switch to live-blogging for some. Thoughts?

If you see I'm missing something you dearly love to watch, head over to my friend Emily's blog here!

What are you looking forward to? Not looking forward to? Are you willing to help my Thursday night wine/tissue fund? Answer in the comments!

He Dumped Her and I Shot Her and the Whole Thing Got Weird-Haven 4X01

We see Duke, sprawled on the floor of the Barn trying to figure out where Audrey is. There are black holes on the walls and he goes down one of them and wakes up in an aquarium. In Boston. 6 months later. What?

It's a Magic Trick! But...the opposite

And it's not a Haven episode unless Duke is arrested (or threatened to be). He attempts to explain his insane story to the cop and then finds out that Haven thinks he's dead. Does Haven not watch TV? A strange man showing up in a tank would make at lease the regional news right? Anyways, our new character for the season, Jennifer shows up and it turns out she's Troubled. And has been listening to Duke and company's conversations starting about oh, say, 6 months ago. She breaks him out of the hospital and Duke calls Vince and Dave to let them know he's alive.

Goddammit I want to know about Oprah

Then the two set off to find Nathan, who left Haven in fear of the Guard. They mange to find him at a biker bar taking money for people to hit him. Oh Nathan. So Broody. There's a moment where I couldn't decide if Nathan was going to punch Duke or what, but that hug was pretty great.

If this look is how Nathan chooses to handle his grief...I'm okay with that

And we meet up with Audrey, I mean Lexie, as a bartender somewhere. She meets Colin Ferguson who is seemingly a nice guy in a bar of skeezy dudes.

The threesome's return to Haven goes just about how you'd expect. The Guard is pissed at Nathan and shows up immediately, along with Sheriff Dwight.  Nathan tells them about his heartbreaking plan to get rid of the troubles for good.  And then a tornado shows up. Clearly, the troubles never left.

Haven decided to grow all the beards

Now it's been so long since the finale, is it that the Troubles go away only if Audrey is in the barn? Or only if Audrey is not in Haven? I honestly can't remember. Anyway, the Guard tries to tie up Nathan somewhere while they find Audrey, but Dwight wants him to help out around the town. I get why the Guard is so pissed. He did try to stop the Troubles from going away last season, but Nathan is offering up his life for this town and the Troubled. And he saved her life. He clearly cares, so let him help.

Back at the bar, a creepy looking guy tries to hold Lexie hostage at a table with a gun. Creepy guy and Colin Ferguson have it out in the middle of the bar, saving Lexie.


So the weather is weird and terrible in Haven, so the first suspect is Marianne. In a great throwback to the pilot, Nathan and company go to see her. When he gets to her, her whole house is frozen out of grief for Conrad. Nathan does his thing, mentioning that he learned it from Audrey (ugh feels) and saves the day. He decides to stay on to help Haven PD while he looks for Audrey.

Returning to the bar, we learn that Colin Ferguson knows who Lexie is. Or used to be. Or whatever. Anyways, they need to discover her identity to save a lot of people.

I know that Audrey isn't really Audrey, and I don't know how we are going to get her back to Audrey without her being everyone else she's ever been. And I don't know if the show is going there, but I can't see an emotionally satisfying ending without the whole Nathan/Audrey relationship being addressed somehow. At least, more than last season.

Thoughts and theories? Is Nathan Audrey's true love? Any guesses on who Colin Ferguson is?

We Created the Beast- Pretty Little Liars 4X12

What the actual fuck. Also, spoilers.

The girls get a mysterious package featuring Magic 8-balls for each of the girls threatening their safety if Hannah's mom is released. So naturally, Ashley Marin is released from jail! Although, what was that business with Travis saying he can't do this in regards to the lineup? Will it be important later? Also, CeCe Drake is Wilden's murderer! So we get a few answers before another package gets sent to all the girls with various creative threats about their safety and Mona's safety. The girls race to find Mona, who has mysteriously disappeared. Toby discovers that Wren has moved to England (with Melissa) and breaks his radio silence to tell Spencer and get over himself. Cause really dude, she was right and remember the last time you left? The mental hospital? Also crazy murderous people are on the loose targeting the girls and their loved ones? Honestly, I'm not surprised they (meaning Spencer) haven't come up with a system where everyone checks in hourly.

Wren and Melissa sitting in a tree, p-l-o-t-t-i-n-g

But in the midst of the murder threats and general scariness there is time for cuddles. Aria and Jake's night is cut short by Jake falling asleep (what are you, 50? No seriously, I have no idea how old you are) and then Aria proceeds to make some spectacularly bad decisions, starting with going to a poetry reading. And then making out with Ezra.

Feels.

Aria, there are so many reasons why this is a bad idea. 1, you have a boyfriend. 2, He's you're teacher. 3, YOU KNOW YOU ARE BEING WATCHED. If I were her, I'd only kiss my teacher in a basement or a bomb shelter with the doors double bolted after checking for drill holes.

The next threatening message comes in the form of magic. Raise you're hand if you were surprised Spencer won a magic competition as a child.

They realize that there is a magic show in, you guessed it, Ravenswood. So the girls head off to Columbia, I mean Ravenswood, to go to a magic show. This should end well.

Magic is fun.

Which it does. With Emily in a box about to be sawed in half. But in a surprising turn of events, A intervenes! But which one? A chase ensues as Hannah pulls Emily out of the box. Aria uses her new found karate skills to take out CeCe, who plays dead until she can sneak away. Even though we've unmasked her as A, she's still creepy. The other A leads Spencer to the official (i.e not on wheels) lair, and the girls go through it as someone creepily watches.

In Hardy Boys world, Toby and Spencer stalk Mona's house. Toby spies Shauna leaving with Jenna's car and follows her to find Mona...knitting? What?

The girls emerge from the lair with a few treasures (Hannah stole a diary) and a whole lot more knowledge and find that the town now exists in 1800s England. What. They run into Ms. Grunwald, who enlightens the girls on some of the minor details of what's going on. Like that Ali is alive.

I wasn't surprised to find out that Ali was alive. The show had been hinting at it too much and it made a lot of sense for her to be alive. But I didn't think they were going to reveal A. For a split second, I thought it was Jake. But no, I couldn't have been more wrong.

It's Ezra.


Actually, this makes a lot of sense. We already know Ezra has a thing for teenage girls, so imagining Ezra having a relationship with Ali (possibly while he was at Holis?) isn't too difficult. Ali thinks she's pregnant, and I could see her either having an abortion or just telling Ezra she had an abortion, he gets angry and stalks and kills her. She uses his attempt to kill her as a way to hide. Ezra thinks she may be alive and cozies up to one of the girls, thinking they are hiding her. He falls in love with Aria, ergo Aria has been messed with the least, and uses CeCe (who he probably knew if he was dating Ali) and Mona to torture the girls. Mona had a reason and CeCe just seems sociopathic. As for Allison, I think she's hiding out in Ravenswood and has been protecting the girls from the A team, as she lead Spencer to the lair and saved them for the burning building.

As for the other sketchy characters? Wren, Shauna, Jenna, Mona and maybe Melissa are somehow involved Ali's "death". Or at least they think they are, probably because Wilden and Garrett are dead. But I haven't worked out all of what they're up to, maybe that will be the mystery for the next portion of the season. I think the Halloween episode will cover Caleb staying in Ravenswood and the party, giving us enough about Ezra to be satisfied for now. The next part of the season will be addressing what/why/who of Jenna, Shauna, Wren, and I have lost track of whoever else is involved in this clusterfuck.

What are your theories? Are you going to watch Ravenswood? Answer below in the comments!

"Are you Pregnant?"-Pretty Little Liars 4X11

As the girls discuss Hannah's mom, I have one very important question: Aria, in what world do people take naps in crawl spaces of basements? The detective comes over and is vaguely threatening, which felt a little out of character to me. She has spent the series trying to convince the girls she is on their side(which is doubtful) but now she's openly mean to them. All while Hannah looks like she's about to have a nervous breakdown.

I feel bad for Hannah because it is a stressful situation and I have no idea how I would deal with it, but I think taking down A would help with a lot of her problems. Her and her mom can focus on the defense, not what crazy thing A is going to pull to make things even worse. At least the random dude was able to absolve her mom. But, his sudden appearance is way to random, and I think the writers are good enough to not wrap up such an important storyline so abruptly. I think we're going to see more about this and hopefully it extends into next season.


I'm so glad Spencer told the other girls about Toby. I know that Toby wanted to keep it a secret and that the girls did push a little bit, but this dumb secret has been a low point on this season. They don't have to know everything about the case, but they do deserve to know why Toby betrayed the girls.

Paige is literally wearing a Boy Scout shirt. Let than sink in for a moment.

I think the writers are going to have Emily and Paige stay together. They could have made a clean break a few episodes ago, but they have let the complicated-ness of the end linger. There is the possibility that they are just portraying a complicated relationship and not wrapping up everything neatly, or that Paige and Emily as a couple play an important part in future A schemes.

Where does Jake go to school? How old is Jake? Given Aria's history with older men, shouldn't we discuss this? I get his whole protectiveness over Aria, but it's important Ezra tells Aria about his son. Aria was directly involved with the finding-out process, she deserves to know.

Can we talk about how the bad dancing? Just fyi, this is coming from a person who considers herself one of the worst dancers ever. Other than Jake and Aria, every other dance made this weird circle around a few poles. Also, why a hoedown? Just, why?



Next Tuesday is the season finale, so prepare yourselves! Now if you will excuse me, I'm going to check the floor in my apartment for drill holes.

"And I'm Pocahontas"-Pretty Little Liars 4X07

Hannah
It was heartbreaking to watch Hannah deal with her mom this entire episode. A has done some terrible things before, but the damaged she has inflicted seems much more real than in previous seasons. Before she was exploiting things the secrets the girls had and now she's making things up.

Emily
Okay Ms. Fields, I get that parents are supposed to take care of their children. But Hannah's dad hasn't proven himself to be parent of the year. Also, shouldn't you be impressed by what a good friend your daughter is being, rather than scold her for comforting her friend? But your daughter did get you suspended from your job. So maybe it evens out.

Okay, I'm going to talk about the elephant in the room. It's A's car addiction. Does that make it the car in the room? Jokes, y'all. In all seriousness, why are cars A's go-to weapon? How does A get all these cars? Hasn't anyone put together the number of murders and number of stolen cars in Rosewood? Are the police even trying?

Aria
Let me get this straight. A boy spreads rumors about a girl and isn't punished even though the majority of the school will corroborate that it started with him, including a teacher. But a boy on medication is suspected of destroying someone's car with out any evidence other than his medication and suddenly it's all zero-tolerance time?? What a terrible, terrible principle. But, this story line made me question who really did it. At first I thought it was Mike, but I wouldn't be surprised if it was Erza or even A. Why not get Mike in trouble along with Ashley Marin?

I'm glad Ezra helped out with the Mike situation, but the writers are totally foreshadowing the reunion of Ezria. Which I don't really care about because I think Ezra is a little creepy and kind of boring. At least Toby has that whole dead-mom drama.

Spencer
I really want Toby to tell the girls why he traded the Lair to A, because I don't like the girls arguing over it. What I do like is that they seem to be able to put the issue aside to help Hannah.

I was utterly impressed that they used gloves in Wilden's apartment. That is something you could get in trouble for, theoretically. Where is it on the Rosewood scale of crimes? Worse or better than holding a shovel?

Toby and Caleb (a.k.a The Hardy Boys)
If Toby and Caleb are the Hardy Boys, who are the girls? The Women's Murder Club? They've certainly been accused of murder enough (ba-dum psshhh).

Whatever they are, Toby and Caleb were adorable together. They threatened a bland-looking blond boy, solved a mystery, and located a plane all in the span of one episode. Murder and mystery solving are all the key elements to friendship, are they not? That's really all television has taught me, if we're being honest.

What are your theories about A? Answer below in the comments!

You're Following a Lead That Came From a Bird-Pretty Little Liars 4X06

Aria
The minute she walked over to the new guy, I knew he was going to become creepy.

I'm glad she stood up for herself because that's probably the most bad-ass thing she's done. And I'm glad the show injected some real world problems into the storyline. It's easy to forget that reality exists when everyone is being murdered or being framed for murder.

 Also, Mike, really?? I'm glad he finally believed Aria, but you are her brother. You are supposed to believe her over your classmate. And he was totally the one who wrecked the car, even thought they made it look like Ezra.


Emily


What is with the A team being freakishly good at musical instruments? Is Melissa going to start playing the trombone suddenly?
And she's in Ravenswood. What. I just...what.

Why does anyone think that A is going to let them show things to the police? At this point, any response to the police should be "don't fucking ask".

Emily Fields, master spy

And, 10,000 points to Emily for giving Connor garbage duty.

Spencer

You know what's really sad? That a show about bullying, threats, murder, and has the word "Liar" in the title portrays some of the healthiest relationships on television (I mean the ones not involving creepy older men)? I thought the apology scene between Emily and Spencer was well done, but it sucks that it came undone with the reveal of who took the lair. I get that the girls are angry at Spencer, but it's not her secret to tell. Hopefully we wrap up his mother's death quickly.


Also, what the fucking fuck was happening at Ravenswood? Everyone was clearly on drugs and then some sort of religious moment that creepily reminded me of Bioshock: Infinite happened and oh my god I really hope that Spencer and Toby did not eat the food because it was probably poison. 

Originally I was kind of meh about the whole Ravenswood thing, but they have sold me on at least watching the first episode. Some spin-offs dedicate and entire episode to the spin-off and ignore the whole show but this provided a good introduction to this town and the tone of the show. I do have a few questions though, like will they keep that filter? I thought it was cool and really added to the drugginess of everyone's behavior, but I think it would get annoying after awhile. Also, how is Caleb supposed to join the show? No matter what, he should avoid the bottles that say "Drink Me".


Hannah
Hannah is really getting the brunt of A's wrath this season. Her mom and her dad are mad at each other for very valid reasons and mad at Hannah for a very valid reason, but A is the one they should be mad at. At first I thought it was going to be something like her mom took the gun to meet with Wilden for protection, but her mom didn't know why the gun was in her purse. I smell an A set-up, because why not.

Other thoughts:

• This exchange:Toby: I'm not driving all the way back to Rosewood with low-blood sugar Spencer. That's worse than no-caffeine Spencer." Spencer: "Wow, your girlfriend sounds awesome.
• Is Grunwald the Big Bad for Ravenswood then?
• Masks are creepy.