We Created the Beast- Pretty Little Liars 4X12

What the actual fuck. Also, spoilers.

The girls get a mysterious package featuring Magic 8-balls for each of the girls threatening their safety if Hannah's mom is released. So naturally, Ashley Marin is released from jail! Although, what was that business with Travis saying he can't do this in regards to the lineup? Will it be important later? Also, CeCe Drake is Wilden's murderer! So we get a few answers before another package gets sent to all the girls with various creative threats about their safety and Mona's safety. The girls race to find Mona, who has mysteriously disappeared. Toby discovers that Wren has moved to England (with Melissa) and breaks his radio silence to tell Spencer and get over himself. Cause really dude, she was right and remember the last time you left? The mental hospital? Also crazy murderous people are on the loose targeting the girls and their loved ones? Honestly, I'm not surprised they (meaning Spencer) haven't come up with a system where everyone checks in hourly.

Wren and Melissa sitting in a tree, p-l-o-t-t-i-n-g

But in the midst of the murder threats and general scariness there is time for cuddles. Aria and Jake's night is cut short by Jake falling asleep (what are you, 50? No seriously, I have no idea how old you are) and then Aria proceeds to make some spectacularly bad decisions, starting with going to a poetry reading. And then making out with Ezra.

Feels.

Aria, there are so many reasons why this is a bad idea. 1, you have a boyfriend. 2, He's you're teacher. 3, YOU KNOW YOU ARE BEING WATCHED. If I were her, I'd only kiss my teacher in a basement or a bomb shelter with the doors double bolted after checking for drill holes.

The next threatening message comes in the form of magic. Raise you're hand if you were surprised Spencer won a magic competition as a child.

They realize that there is a magic show in, you guessed it, Ravenswood. So the girls head off to Columbia, I mean Ravenswood, to go to a magic show. This should end well.

Magic is fun.

Which it does. With Emily in a box about to be sawed in half. But in a surprising turn of events, A intervenes! But which one? A chase ensues as Hannah pulls Emily out of the box. Aria uses her new found karate skills to take out CeCe, who plays dead until she can sneak away. Even though we've unmasked her as A, she's still creepy. The other A leads Spencer to the official (i.e not on wheels) lair, and the girls go through it as someone creepily watches.

In Hardy Boys world, Toby and Spencer stalk Mona's house. Toby spies Shauna leaving with Jenna's car and follows her to find Mona...knitting? What?

The girls emerge from the lair with a few treasures (Hannah stole a diary) and a whole lot more knowledge and find that the town now exists in 1800s England. What. They run into Ms. Grunwald, who enlightens the girls on some of the minor details of what's going on. Like that Ali is alive.

I wasn't surprised to find out that Ali was alive. The show had been hinting at it too much and it made a lot of sense for her to be alive. But I didn't think they were going to reveal A. For a split second, I thought it was Jake. But no, I couldn't have been more wrong.

It's Ezra.


Actually, this makes a lot of sense. We already know Ezra has a thing for teenage girls, so imagining Ezra having a relationship with Ali (possibly while he was at Holis?) isn't too difficult. Ali thinks she's pregnant, and I could see her either having an abortion or just telling Ezra she had an abortion, he gets angry and stalks and kills her. She uses his attempt to kill her as a way to hide. Ezra thinks she may be alive and cozies up to one of the girls, thinking they are hiding her. He falls in love with Aria, ergo Aria has been messed with the least, and uses CeCe (who he probably knew if he was dating Ali) and Mona to torture the girls. Mona had a reason and CeCe just seems sociopathic. As for Allison, I think she's hiding out in Ravenswood and has been protecting the girls from the A team, as she lead Spencer to the lair and saved them for the burning building.

As for the other sketchy characters? Wren, Shauna, Jenna, Mona and maybe Melissa are somehow involved Ali's "death". Or at least they think they are, probably because Wilden and Garrett are dead. But I haven't worked out all of what they're up to, maybe that will be the mystery for the next portion of the season. I think the Halloween episode will cover Caleb staying in Ravenswood and the party, giving us enough about Ezra to be satisfied for now. The next part of the season will be addressing what/why/who of Jenna, Shauna, Wren, and I have lost track of whoever else is involved in this clusterfuck.

What are your theories? Are you going to watch Ravenswood? Answer below in the comments!

"Are you Pregnant?"-Pretty Little Liars 4X11

As the girls discuss Hannah's mom, I have one very important question: Aria, in what world do people take naps in crawl spaces of basements? The detective comes over and is vaguely threatening, which felt a little out of character to me. She has spent the series trying to convince the girls she is on their side(which is doubtful) but now she's openly mean to them. All while Hannah looks like she's about to have a nervous breakdown.

I feel bad for Hannah because it is a stressful situation and I have no idea how I would deal with it, but I think taking down A would help with a lot of her problems. Her and her mom can focus on the defense, not what crazy thing A is going to pull to make things even worse. At least the random dude was able to absolve her mom. But, his sudden appearance is way to random, and I think the writers are good enough to not wrap up such an important storyline so abruptly. I think we're going to see more about this and hopefully it extends into next season.


I'm so glad Spencer told the other girls about Toby. I know that Toby wanted to keep it a secret and that the girls did push a little bit, but this dumb secret has been a low point on this season. They don't have to know everything about the case, but they do deserve to know why Toby betrayed the girls.

Paige is literally wearing a Boy Scout shirt. Let than sink in for a moment.

I think the writers are going to have Emily and Paige stay together. They could have made a clean break a few episodes ago, but they have let the complicated-ness of the end linger. There is the possibility that they are just portraying a complicated relationship and not wrapping up everything neatly, or that Paige and Emily as a couple play an important part in future A schemes.

Where does Jake go to school? How old is Jake? Given Aria's history with older men, shouldn't we discuss this? I get his whole protectiveness over Aria, but it's important Ezra tells Aria about his son. Aria was directly involved with the finding-out process, she deserves to know.

Can we talk about how the bad dancing? Just fyi, this is coming from a person who considers herself one of the worst dancers ever. Other than Jake and Aria, every other dance made this weird circle around a few poles. Also, why a hoedown? Just, why?



Next Tuesday is the season finale, so prepare yourselves! Now if you will excuse me, I'm going to check the floor in my apartment for drill holes.

"And I'm Pocahontas"-Pretty Little Liars 4X07

Hannah
It was heartbreaking to watch Hannah deal with her mom this entire episode. A has done some terrible things before, but the damaged she has inflicted seems much more real than in previous seasons. Before she was exploiting things the secrets the girls had and now she's making things up.

Emily
Okay Ms. Fields, I get that parents are supposed to take care of their children. But Hannah's dad hasn't proven himself to be parent of the year. Also, shouldn't you be impressed by what a good friend your daughter is being, rather than scold her for comforting her friend? But your daughter did get you suspended from your job. So maybe it evens out.

Okay, I'm going to talk about the elephant in the room. It's A's car addiction. Does that make it the car in the room? Jokes, y'all. In all seriousness, why are cars A's go-to weapon? How does A get all these cars? Hasn't anyone put together the number of murders and number of stolen cars in Rosewood? Are the police even trying?

Aria
Let me get this straight. A boy spreads rumors about a girl and isn't punished even though the majority of the school will corroborate that it started with him, including a teacher. But a boy on medication is suspected of destroying someone's car with out any evidence other than his medication and suddenly it's all zero-tolerance time?? What a terrible, terrible principle. But, this story line made me question who really did it. At first I thought it was Mike, but I wouldn't be surprised if it was Erza or even A. Why not get Mike in trouble along with Ashley Marin?

I'm glad Ezra helped out with the Mike situation, but the writers are totally foreshadowing the reunion of Ezria. Which I don't really care about because I think Ezra is a little creepy and kind of boring. At least Toby has that whole dead-mom drama.

Spencer
I really want Toby to tell the girls why he traded the Lair to A, because I don't like the girls arguing over it. What I do like is that they seem to be able to put the issue aside to help Hannah.

I was utterly impressed that they used gloves in Wilden's apartment. That is something you could get in trouble for, theoretically. Where is it on the Rosewood scale of crimes? Worse or better than holding a shovel?

Toby and Caleb (a.k.a The Hardy Boys)
If Toby and Caleb are the Hardy Boys, who are the girls? The Women's Murder Club? They've certainly been accused of murder enough (ba-dum psshhh).

Whatever they are, Toby and Caleb were adorable together. They threatened a bland-looking blond boy, solved a mystery, and located a plane all in the span of one episode. Murder and mystery solving are all the key elements to friendship, are they not? That's really all television has taught me, if we're being honest.

What are your theories about A? Answer below in the comments!

You're Following a Lead That Came From a Bird-Pretty Little Liars 4X06

Aria
The minute she walked over to the new guy, I knew he was going to become creepy.

I'm glad she stood up for herself because that's probably the most bad-ass thing she's done. And I'm glad the show injected some real world problems into the storyline. It's easy to forget that reality exists when everyone is being murdered or being framed for murder.

 Also, Mike, really?? I'm glad he finally believed Aria, but you are her brother. You are supposed to believe her over your classmate. And he was totally the one who wrecked the car, even thought they made it look like Ezra.


Emily


What is with the A team being freakishly good at musical instruments? Is Melissa going to start playing the trombone suddenly?
And she's in Ravenswood. What. I just...what.

Why does anyone think that A is going to let them show things to the police? At this point, any response to the police should be "don't fucking ask".

Emily Fields, master spy

And, 10,000 points to Emily for giving Connor garbage duty.

Spencer

You know what's really sad? That a show about bullying, threats, murder, and has the word "Liar" in the title portrays some of the healthiest relationships on television (I mean the ones not involving creepy older men)? I thought the apology scene between Emily and Spencer was well done, but it sucks that it came undone with the reveal of who took the lair. I get that the girls are angry at Spencer, but it's not her secret to tell. Hopefully we wrap up his mother's death quickly.


Also, what the fucking fuck was happening at Ravenswood? Everyone was clearly on drugs and then some sort of religious moment that creepily reminded me of Bioshock: Infinite happened and oh my god I really hope that Spencer and Toby did not eat the food because it was probably poison. 

Originally I was kind of meh about the whole Ravenswood thing, but they have sold me on at least watching the first episode. Some spin-offs dedicate and entire episode to the spin-off and ignore the whole show but this provided a good introduction to this town and the tone of the show. I do have a few questions though, like will they keep that filter? I thought it was cool and really added to the drugginess of everyone's behavior, but I think it would get annoying after awhile. Also, how is Caleb supposed to join the show? No matter what, he should avoid the bottles that say "Drink Me".


Hannah
Hannah is really getting the brunt of A's wrath this season. Her mom and her dad are mad at each other for very valid reasons and mad at Hannah for a very valid reason, but A is the one they should be mad at. At first I thought it was going to be something like her mom took the gun to meet with Wilden for protection, but her mom didn't know why the gun was in her purse. I smell an A set-up, because why not.

Other thoughts:

• This exchange:Toby: I'm not driving all the way back to Rosewood with low-blood sugar Spencer. That's worse than no-caffeine Spencer." Spencer: "Wow, your girlfriend sounds awesome.
• Is Grunwald the Big Bad for Ravenswood then?
• Masks are creepy.

Don't Behead Me, I'm Behind-Game of Thrones 2X03

Tyrion
I'm glad he's finding a way to keep Shae around without killing her. She's an entertaining character and I like the two of them together. I hope Sansa doesn't catch on and reveal Shae's true identity to Cersei, because I could see that happening based on Sansa's reaction to Shae.
And finally we get clues as to why Cersei could have murdered the two previous Hands.

Aria and Gendry

Smart move Aria. But now I'm concerned. I thought that she and Gendry would run away and somehow end up at Winterfell, but that is looking less and less likely with the events of this episode.


Theon Greyjoy

Asshole. I mean, I get that the Starks kept you prisoner and that was kind of terrible, but you're father is awful. Go find your own thing to do instead of playing second fiddle to your father or the Starks. I'd like you better if you did that (but not by much. You're still terrible).

Moriarty and husband
Yay Natalie Dormer! And yay for your husband's sexuality not being a secret or a big deal! Although, I really don't think people will be suspicious of him for them not getting pregnant, it will probably be her fault (patriarchy y'all). But still, both of you seem like lovely people, which means someone will die soon. This is what Joss Whedon has taught me.

Brienne

I have been eagerly awaiting the arrival of Brienne, mostly because Tumblr and one of my friends loves her. Thoughts so far? A+ character. She has more honor than any male knight I've seen so far.


Thoughts for next episode:

• I hope Bran and John Snow's storylines start to get more interesting. I feel like they are setting up for something, but I don't know what

Don't Behead Me, I'm Behind-Game of Thrones 2X02

My hard drive crashed so now I'm even behind on being behind. From now on, once post a day. I promise.


I'm only a fan of brothels if there's singing or Edith Piaf. I really do not care about the man running the brothel. I understand it is important that Joffrey is killing all of his father's bastards, but I really do not care about Littlefinger teaching women how to have sex. Also, too many naked women in the background. I know George R. R. Martin has this quote about writing women as human, but he only seems to do this to the main women and writes naked women into the background. I know it's a patriarchal culture, but that's not an excuse.

Theon Greyjoy. I don't like you. I think you are a misogynist and you are slowly creeping up the do-not-like scale (at the end of the season I will put all the characters on a scale. It'll be fun). Also. You. Tried. To. Seduce. Your. Sister. That is all.

So this whole conspiracy about what Craster is doing with his sons reminds me of every time anti-choicers talk about sex-selective abortion. I know it happens it other countries, but not in America. I think they think women are sacrificing children to some sort of god? I know it's not really what happens, but it's such a ridiculous reasoning to be anti-choice that this is what my mind comes up with.

I'm really enjoying the inclusion of Old Gods vs. New Gods. Its very Battlestar-y to me I guess? And, I like a world where there is religious debate and doesn't include current perceptions of religion. I think its really boring if you create a whole other world and keep Christianity as a religion. Almost as boring as making every fantastical world be medieval England.

Aria and Robert's Bastard. Interesting duo? They both know each other's secrets and seem okay with them. I kinda want them to run away and adventure across the kingdom together because it could be fun.

A Lannister Always Pays His Debts-Pretty Little Liars 4X05

 I apologize for the lack of updates for the past week. My hard drive crashed and I have to have a new one sent to me. Game of Thrones will start up again either later today or early tomorrow, I have a lot of catching up to do. Anyways! Pretty Little Liars.

Aria

Bees. Why does it always have to be bees. Whether it's the X-Files or Pushing Daisies, why are bees something people always try to harness?

Pushing Daisies. Because this isn't terrifying

C'mon Piper, blow them up! Oh wait, wrong show.

And where has Mike been for the past two years? Hiding in the basement? Prison for grand theft? These are important questions.

Toby

Poor Toby. All the characters on this show have had terrible, terrible things happen to them, but Toby's just seem more terrible. Mostly because they aren't at the hands of A. Your mother commits suicide and your step-sisters molests you? I'm fairly surprised you're not a serial killer. It was heartbreaking to watch him realize her doctor no longer had the mental facilities to remember his mother. I hope Toby finds answers.

Spencer

First off, let's talk about the bad-ass nerdiness of Spencer. Because that guy she talked to, you know he's one of those guys who calls women 'fake geek girls' and the like. So her nerdy take-down was awesome, especially because he called her crazy. There's a great quote about women being perceived as crazy by Tavi Gevinson (who is more awesome than I could ever hope to be, here's her TED talk:) which says: "People expect women to be that easy to understand, and women are mad at themselves for not being that simple- When in actuality, women ARE complicated. Women are multifaceted. Not because women are crazy . But because people are crazy, and women happen to be people". Women's version of crazy is either perceived as women being from another planet OR really simple and all they think about is men.

His reference of women being crazy is based off this really weird perception that women are obsessive over men? And her actually having a crazy episode makes that comment hurt a little more and then she just fucking takes him down.

Not a Hastings. But a Khaleesi.

AND she finally confronted Melissa, who is totally more involve than she is letting on. Because she's Melissa and because she was doing a terrible job of getting rid of the evidence.

Emily
Is this the worst thing A has done to any of the girls? I think it is. I'm glad Emily is exploring other college options because the whole I'm-going-to-Stanford-and-living-with-my-girlfriend thing is a little unrealistic. But I'm not sold on the whole sorority thing for her, or really anyone on this show. Because there are waaaaayyyy too many opportunities for creepy things to happen like the room Spencer found (see below for that bit on insanity).

Exhibit A

And I'm 800% sure that college helper dude was creepy. When she finally told him she was taken, he seemed to accept it well and then he made this face:

This show has programmed me to be suspicious of every male character.

Hannah

Of all of your bad plans, this has been the worst. At least you were arrested for holding something actually dangerous and not a shovel this time? Just looking on the bright side.

Maybe Hannah and her mother can share lawyers. Although, it was totally Melissa.

Creepy Moment of the Week:
The panic room/torture chamber in the sorority.

What. The. Fuck

What are your theories about who was kept in this room? I'm betting that evil twin theory is right.