"Why Did We Wait So Long?"-Haven 4X05

If we did a satellite survey of Haven, how many dead bodies would there be outside of cemeteries (I'm assuming Haven has multiple ones. Like Sunnydale)? 

These are the sorts of things that run through my head during sad scenes like this one. Thanks grad school. 

Anyways, we then cut to Jennifer, who is trying to research her parentage. Vince has narrowed it down to 6 Haven families, so she decides she's going to track them down. I'm glad the show has a reason to have her stick around other than Duke asked her to. I also want her and Audrey to become best friends because every potential female friend for Audrey has died. Or lost their memory. Dave and Vince argue a bit about the Troubles before Vince storms off. 

Nathan is making pancakes and Audrey's place. God, I love this show. But they don't get to eat them because Vince and Dave show up, sending Nathan diving out the back like a high school kid (isn't that what's supposed to happen in high school? That's what tv has taught me anyway). The two find him and admonish him for not seducing Lexie and then he awkwardly tries to quote Phil Collins. I mean, The Supremes.

PANCAAAAAKKKKKEEESSSSS

Duke comes into the Herald to tell Jennifer to get her stuff and leave because he's skipping town. Jennifer is naturally confused, so Duke explains that he's tired of helping everyone else. He's supposed to be the selfish one. He leaves an upset Jennifer to get a part from one of the Driscolls. Suddenly, everything starts to be crushed, or implodes, and he has to save a girl from this Trouble.  When the police arrive they realize that it's a pressure trouble, and Vince and Dave have the bends. They are put in a decompression chamber while they hilariously bicker at each other. Dear Haven writers, more 'drunk' Dave and Vince please.

Nathan and Audrey arrive as Duke leaves, and he yells at them for how selfish they are. Audrey disagrees, and they continue on their separate ways. The two quickly realize that the Driscolls brothers now have a Trouble because of the same guys that changed Carrie's last week. And creepily spied on Audrey and Nathan.

"You Look Like a Turtle!"

We find the other Driscoll brother being arrested in the middle of the town. This pressure activates his Trouble, which continues to grow until the police arrive. The plan becomes to have Duke kill Jack Driscoll, taking his Trouble. Problem: Duke doesn't have his Trouble anymore. Nathan and Audrey realize this when he finally shows up and some of Nathan's blood gets on him. The three of them don deep sea suits to help Aiden, but Nathan starts to lose oxygen. Audrey continues to stop Aiden, and Duke saves Nathan's life.

Meanwhile, Jennifer has met with all of her potential families but one. There, she sees a horseshoe crab with human eyes. Just like earlier in the episode. Creepy. So, so creepy.

Thanks for those nightmares Haven

Meanwhile, Jennifer has met with all of her potential families but one. There, she sees a horseshoe crab with human eyes. Just like earlier in the episode. Creepy. So, so creepy.

Duke realizes he was wrong to leave and apologizes to Jennifer, who forgives him.  Jennifer, after going to the last house, gets a box of the family's stuff. In there? The book that Audrey had in the pilot and that the two Audreys found at Agent Howard's house. Jennifer and Audrey are connected. Part of me thinks that Jennifer is Audrey's (not our Audrey) sister. But, that Audrey never showed signs of a Trouble. It may be her losing her memory messed with how she gets her Trouble, but I don't think that's it. Whatever this is, this book is important, and I'm excited for the scene where Audrey haphazardly finds it (you know it will happen).

 Dave and Vince show up to talk about how the apocalypse is totally not happening, and then Jennifer bursts their bubble. Those creepy crabs? A sign of the apocalypse. I swear, if I made a list of all the possible signs of the Apocalypse based off of television shows...this one would be the wierdest. Anyways, because of the whole non-end-of-the-world thing, they set off to find Nathan and Audrey. Who are crying, as they decide now is the time to kill him. But first, the most Haven-y things said this season:

Jennifer: Could be something she doesn't know she knows, you know?...Does that makes sense?
Duke: ...Believe it or not, yes.

In Haven, events are cyclical. The Troubles come every few decades, with Audrey, the Crockers, and others to help protect the town. Really, all of the characters are just fulfilling their role every time. Jack told Duke earlier that the Driscolls and the Crockers protect the town, that's their jobs. The sense of family lineage and its relationship to the Troubles is what drives a lot of these character's actions. Every characters has things they know, but they don't know they know them because of who fulfills the roles everytime.

Guys, this is the second time in two days you have walked in on people post-coitus. I think it's time for an intervention.

They come upon a line :"You're greatest salvation with be your doom". What is their salvation? Nathan's death. So they try and stop Nathan and Audrey from killing Nathan. Duke also lets it slip that Audrey is really Audrey before they hear the gunshot off camera. Uh-oh.

One of the things I've always loved about Haven is how logical it is. Yes, it's a show about the supernatural. But every finding makes some sort of sense. The mythology of the show is so well done, which each 'supernatural' things having a logical reason rather than just saying 'its magic' and moving on. That's why this whole "Audrey must kill someone she loves to end the Troubles" has never sat well with me. It felt more like someone made up this rumor as a way for Audrey/Sarah/Lexie/Lucy to suffer? Especially if Haven is some sort of battleground, the spread of myths in order to mess with the other side seems plausible. It always seemed like untrue myth rather than fact in the Havenverse, and I'm glad they've disproved it.

Feels

"This was Never Meant Personally"-The Good Wife 5X05

If there was an award for most apt title, "Hitting the Fan" would win in a landslide. Because shit. hit. the. fan.

The writers and creators have been building to this moment for awhile. No, not just from last season, but from the beginning of the show really. They took these characters and showed us their reasons and motivations for just about anything, allowing the viewer to understand and sympathize with them at different points. With this episode, they stuffed each character in their own cannons and just started shooting them at each other. And it is damn entertaining.

The episode starts off with more of the conversation between Will and the publicist than we heard last week, where they are ironically discussing how stable the firm is. Diane comes in, and the firm falls apart. Will unleashes rage onto Alicia, trapping her in her office and getting the other partners together to fire her. Then, they go about firing everyone else. Diane traps Cary and he angrily gives up important info, like they're going after ChumHum, to her before she fires him. Again. David Lee gleefully walks from office to office firing every fourth-year in site. Alicia is removed from the building. Everyone has been kicked out of L&G, so they set up shop in the coffee place downstairs.

Alicia cries, you cry. That's how this show works right?

They scramble to figure out what clients are coming with them because they desperately need money and have no files. Then there's that dude who remarks that they didn't get their bonuses. Can we fire that guy? Like now? Kalinda comes down to offer her services and Cary, once again, gives too much away. This will end well. Alicia decides to distract Will with actual work, which no one is doing at the moment, so he has to go work a deposition about a nurse that was fired for being too pretty. I kind of love that they are doing a ripped-from-the-headline thing without actually going into a case? It's like their mocking people that criticize the show for its on-pointness. Will also has Alicia's phone, which makes for some interesting conversation when Grace and Peter call. Grace just needs a permission slip, and Peter just yells at him. Dude, you haven't even spoken to your wife. Please stop threatening on behalf of her, and if you haven't noticed, she can take care of herself. 

Alicia's client calls her because she doesn't think Will is handling the case right. Will take the phone and argues with Alicia, resulting in the most hilarious conversation of the night:

Alicia: OH, GO TO HELL!
Will: NO, YOU GO!...Oh, you're daughter called. She needs you to call her school to let her go on a field trip
Alicia: Oh, when was this?
Will: About forty minutes ago
Alicia: Oh, okay. Thanks
Will: You're welcome.

Because really, The Good Wife is a comedy.

Alicia "Sassmaster" Florrick

If I wasn't convinced that Breaking Bad is going to sweep at the Emmy's next year, I would say Josh Charles has a shot (and maybe the show as a whole) for next year. Because this may be his best episode yet.

Kalinda also reveals her true intentions, leaking information about F,A&A for Will to use. She gives up where their offices are, which David Lee promptly shuts down. 

The tensions escalate as Alicia and the the other try to wrangle clients. L&G serves them a restraining order to stop them from going after ChumHum, so after a snarky court session causes Alicia to get a restraining order against L&G. How fun. F,A&A sets up camp in Alicia's house, and then Carey wierdly hits on Grace while Grace pours him wine. What?

All of the awkward

Then Peter comes over, mainly to check up on Alicia, but also for some gross sexytimes.

The way that this show uses sex-specifically with Alicia and Peter-is really fascinating. The show is very specific in showing us when and why the two of them have sex as their relationship become increasingly complicated. For Alicia, she initiates sex with Peter in order to reaffirm her status as "The Good Wife". I talk a bit about it here, but her choice of Peter is reactionary. In the first season, she feels guilty about her feelings for Will, so she has sex with Peter. Last season, her mother said that Alicia should choose Will. To choose Will means being her mother, means being not "The Good Wife", so she pulls Peter into the bathroom. Peter is there to reassure her that she is not a bad person. Peter, on the other hand, fetishizes his wife's power. One of the reasons I love Will so much is that he truly respects Alicia, even if she's not with him. Peter, on the other hand, seems to respect Alicia because she's his wife.

 In this article, they discuss that Alicia and Will have a clear mutual, professional respect for each other even though they may be at odds personally. In scenes where Peter initiates sex, it is often done after Alicia shows some enormous amount of power. In season 2, it was after watching her kick ass in court (and was questionable in the consent department). Now? He's watching her kick ass in starting a new firm. He doesn't routinely see Alicia's BAMF-ness as much as we or Will does, but whenever he does he has sex with her.

The hilarious part of this whole scene is how much emphasis everyone puts on their relationship. Florrick, Agos and Associates does play up that they have the governor's wife as a partner, but Lockhart and Gardner put an even larger emphasis upon it. But in this episode, Alicia is fired, goes to court, gets a restraining order, and has half a dozen meetings with her new firm in various places without ever telling her husband. Then, when he shows up, her response? "Oh good, you've heard!". Then she has sex with him and nonchalantly says they can't renew their vows, and goes back to kicking ass. This is the relationship everyone puts so much emphasis on?!

Implications and, let's be honest about this scene, grossness aside, that was definitely the most creative "Lean In" reference I've ever heard.

Cheers!

F,A&A and L&G go head to head to fight for ChumHum. Originally, L&G win, but with some meddling by Peter ChumHum decides F,A&A is in their best interests. So much for Peter running the most ethical governorship ever (because I really thought that was going to work out *sarcasm*). Then Peter decides Diane should not get the judgeship because of this whole Alicia business. Peter, if you actually talked to your wife, you would know that Diane tried to take herself out of it. She didn't want any part of it because of the judgeship. You really just did a 180 on the whole ethical thing in the matter of days. That must be a new record.

Sundays were always my favorite night for this show, but it really became my favorite night after this episode. This season is shaping up to be magnificent, and I am so excited to see the rest. 

Now please excuse me, I'm going to go convince everyone I have ever met to watch this show.

"Are you Talking About Mathew or Jesus?"-Grey's Anatomy 10X04

Honestly, most shows barely get to 100 episodes, so 200 is very impressive. So naturally, it's party time!

And wow is it a party. It's like Cirque-du-Soleil in here, which is totally fitting with the whole "we need money thing". Jackson is not happy, Hunt is not happy, and none of the doctors want to be there. And, of course, there's and accident.

Bailey and the Patients
Bailey is stuck at the hospital with the worst patients ever: Weber and a bigoted dying dude. The bigot doesn't want to die, and Weber does so much that he pushed Bailey. Her solution? Put the two in the same room together. Bigot accepts his death and Weber decides to live. Good job, Bailey.

Christina and Hunt
Christina had all the best lines tonight (besides Arizona/Kepner). She tries to convince Hunt that they need to meet other people, which they do, but in very different ways. Hunt meets a cute doctor from another hospital trying to divert money to her hospital and who also likes Hunt. Christina gets a rich guy progressivly drunker so he'll spend more money.

The best part of the episode is when said rich guy gives her a check and asks her to go home with him. She says no, and he accepts it. This should not be so amazing or new, but it is. Most of the time, she'd be accused of leading him on and that she owes him sex. But no, Grey's Anatomy shows a progressive view and it's wonderful. But Christina eats her words about meeting new people when she sees that the other doctor is clearly interested in Hunt, whereas she can't or doesn't want to meet anyone else.

Callie
Callie, Callie, Callie. I know you're hurt, but telling all the donors that you're wife is dead? That's pretty shitty. Eventually she realizes this while putting the trapeze artist back together as she had a conversation at the party who actually lost their husband.

Jackson
Jackson spends most of the episode with Hunt pressuring him and trying to find a way to make everyone happy. The party was clearly over the top, but in the end Jackson finds a great way to get people to donate: show them what the hospital actually does. Smart thinking dude.

Meredith and Derek
Meredith and Derek were the adorablest this episode. Apparently, neither are working because of  maternity leave, so they've become ridiculously competitive about the most mundane things including getting the most donors. Also, Derek juggles.

In the end, they both end up doing surgery on the collapsed event planner and decide to forgo the whole no surgery thing. And they make a wonderful reference to the last big shindig the hospital put on in season 2.

The Interns
The interns make the spectacularly terrible decision that they can handle all the ER problems on their own. Good job. They end up having to call Yang, who bonds with Smiley, and then Smiley kisses Stephanie, which Jackson walks in on. At least he and Stephanie have an actual conversation on their relationship? I don't know, I'm not very invested in this. Also, what is with all the blatant attendings dating interns? Remember when it was a big deal?

Jo and Alex
Jo, the only intern at the party, talks up Alex who mopes in the corner for most of the episode. But it's okay, because he thinks one of the patients is his dad, and it turns out it is. I'm excited to see this storyline play out because this may be the most interesting thing they've given Alex.

Arizona and Kepner
New. Favorite. Thing. Callie's glares at Arizona send her literally back in the closet. Kepner runs into her, so they get drunk in the supplies closet and oh my god this is my new favorite friendship. Kepner hilariously asks Arizona if she can try on her leg and Arizona hilariously boops The Worst Intern on the nose because she is so drunk.

New brotp

Also, they discuss desire and forgiveness and there's a lot of confusion about who they're talking about. Kepner seems to talk about desire for Jackson and forgiveness from Mathew/Jesus and Arizona shows how cracked her marriage was before the cheating. So it was a mix of sad and funny, and I hope that these two become best friends. Arizona really needs someone on her side and Kepner needs a friend who she's not in love with.

Thought on the 200th episode? How is this Christina/Owen mess going to end? Answer in the comments! 

"I Smell Dead People. And Spiders. Dead People Killed by Spiders".- Grey's Anatomy 10X01

Well this season premier was shocking. Too soon?

I'm going to try and make this as consise as possible because A LOT happened in two hours.

Meredith

Meredith and her cute baby run the entire show from her hospital bed. She makes medical decisions for Webber, aids Callie, and lets Yang attempt to take a nap in her bed. Girl has come a long way from being dark and twisty.

I was impressed with the handling of Webber's medical care and I may have kind of teared up when she admitted he was family at the end. Meredith has a habit of denying reality until it finally hits her, and this time was rather touching.

Alex and Jo
Alex and Jo waste no time and attempt to have sex in the on call room. Where Alex has had sex with many women. And, you know, the mudslide and death kinda ruin the mood. Then they try and have sex in the supplies closet, but Alex has had sex in there. Alex, stop having sex in the hospital.

Cristina and Owen
I was 800% behind their breakup. Honestly, it should have happened sooner. Christina needs to find someone amazing, and personally I want her to meet someone just as brilliant as her. I never felt like Burke and Owen were on her level. But at least they're finally broken up? And making up for all the sex Alex and Jo aren't having.

Jackson and April
Jackson rebuffs April's proposal and tell her to decide what she really wants. And what does she really want? Cute EMT guy.

Yeah. That's totally going to last. I give it to November sweeps.

The Interns
In all honesty, I dislike most of the interns. I like Jo and Mousey, Smiley's alright, and I hate the other two. Smiley spends the whole episode dealing with his guilt, which I give about 2 episodes before everyone knows, and everyone else tries to bond. I guess Jo and Jackson's intern can bond about sleeping with their bosses?

Webber and Mousey
Mousey is told to go find Webber, and she dumbly walks into the water without checking the scenery, gets electrocuted and hits her head. I totally thought that Webber was going to die and Mousey would be seriously injured. The actress was cast on another television show, so I thought they would give her an out while keeping the door open for her to return and leave us and everyone else with the emotionally disturbing death of Webber.

But no, Mousey is no more. It was sad to watch the interns reaction and even sadder to watch Bailey struggle against Avery's mom and Meredith. And why on earth would anyone give control to Avery's mom? I know she's the owner of the hospital, but come on. That's a clear conflict of interest.

Callie and Arizona

Now, I've saved a this portion of the episode for the end of this, because I have to rant. And it's about Arizona and Callie. If you've gone near Tumblr since the finale, everyone hates her.

First off, Callie telling everyone about Arizona and leaving without telling her was shitty. Second, Sophia is Arizona's kid. Arizona may not have wanted her right away but she has been Sophia's parent since her birth and has every right to want to see her kid. Thirdly, this isn't some new betrayal because A) Adultery is a theme in Grey's Anatomy (this topic is covered wonderfully here: ) Hell, in this episode there was a huge discussion about the Chief's adultery which Meredith forgave him for. This isn't new. B) Shonda researched the effects of losing a limb. Basically, people who lose a limb do out of character things for up to years after the incident. and C) Grey's Anatomy lives in these grey (haha) areas.

I get both sides. Callie didn't experience the accident, just the aftermath and Arizona got both in big fucking ways. And no matter how much Arizona apologizes, the fact of the matter is that Arizona cheated.

And Izzie cut the LVAD wire. Meredith opened the test results. The chief cheated. Alex killed a patient. April slept with Jackson (I'm not saying sleeping with people is bad. This is Grey's. In April's moral compass it was bad and this season we've seen her come to terms with it. The end). George cheated. Alex told a patient's husband information that resulted in a lawsuit for Addison. Owen cheated. Teddy married a patient for the insurance. Derek cheated. Meredith cheated.


Good people do bad things and then have to figure it out after. That's Grey's Anatomy. So Arizona is not a whore or a bitch, she's someone who screwed up after a traumatic event. And I for one am excited to watch these two try to work it out.
Rant over.

What are You Watching?

What I'm watching (bold is non-network, italicized is midseason):

Sunday: The Good Wife, Revenge, Downton Abbey, Game of Thrones, Homeland
Monday: Castle, HIMYM, Sleepy Hollow, Lost Girl
Tuesday: S.H.I.E.L.D., Pretty Little Liars, Ravenswood
Wednesday: Modern Family, Nashville, Suburgatory
Thursday: Parks and Recreation, Grey's Anatomy, Scandal, Parenthood, Elementary, Community 
Friday: Haven

There are a few midseason shows I'm considering: Crisis and Us & Them, but I'm not sold yet.

What I'm for sure NOT reviewing:
HIMYM, Castle, Modern Family, Suburgtory

I will be reviewing Downton but with the American schedule, not the British schedule that is currently airing. I won't spoil anyone here, but my Tumblr might.

This may change because no one decided to consult my emotional health when creating that Thursday schedule. Or maybe I'll switch to live-blogging for some. Thoughts?

If you see I'm missing something you dearly love to watch, head over to my friend Emily's blog here!

What are you looking forward to? Not looking forward to? Are you willing to help my Thursday night wine/tissue fund? Answer in the comments!

He Dumped Her and I Shot Her and the Whole Thing Got Weird-Haven 4X01

We see Duke, sprawled on the floor of the Barn trying to figure out where Audrey is. There are black holes on the walls and he goes down one of them and wakes up in an aquarium. In Boston. 6 months later. What?

It's a Magic Trick! But...the opposite

And it's not a Haven episode unless Duke is arrested (or threatened to be). He attempts to explain his insane story to the cop and then finds out that Haven thinks he's dead. Does Haven not watch TV? A strange man showing up in a tank would make at lease the regional news right? Anyways, our new character for the season, Jennifer shows up and it turns out she's Troubled. And has been listening to Duke and company's conversations starting about oh, say, 6 months ago. She breaks him out of the hospital and Duke calls Vince and Dave to let them know he's alive.

Goddammit I want to know about Oprah

Then the two set off to find Nathan, who left Haven in fear of the Guard. They mange to find him at a biker bar taking money for people to hit him. Oh Nathan. So Broody. There's a moment where I couldn't decide if Nathan was going to punch Duke or what, but that hug was pretty great.

If this look is how Nathan chooses to handle his grief...I'm okay with that

And we meet up with Audrey, I mean Lexie, as a bartender somewhere. She meets Colin Ferguson who is seemingly a nice guy in a bar of skeezy dudes.

The threesome's return to Haven goes just about how you'd expect. The Guard is pissed at Nathan and shows up immediately, along with Sheriff Dwight.  Nathan tells them about his heartbreaking plan to get rid of the troubles for good.  And then a tornado shows up. Clearly, the troubles never left.

Haven decided to grow all the beards

Now it's been so long since the finale, is it that the Troubles go away only if Audrey is in the barn? Or only if Audrey is not in Haven? I honestly can't remember. Anyway, the Guard tries to tie up Nathan somewhere while they find Audrey, but Dwight wants him to help out around the town. I get why the Guard is so pissed. He did try to stop the Troubles from going away last season, but Nathan is offering up his life for this town and the Troubled. And he saved her life. He clearly cares, so let him help.

Back at the bar, a creepy looking guy tries to hold Lexie hostage at a table with a gun. Creepy guy and Colin Ferguson have it out in the middle of the bar, saving Lexie.


So the weather is weird and terrible in Haven, so the first suspect is Marianne. In a great throwback to the pilot, Nathan and company go to see her. When he gets to her, her whole house is frozen out of grief for Conrad. Nathan does his thing, mentioning that he learned it from Audrey (ugh feels) and saves the day. He decides to stay on to help Haven PD while he looks for Audrey.

Returning to the bar, we learn that Colin Ferguson knows who Lexie is. Or used to be. Or whatever. Anyways, they need to discover her identity to save a lot of people.

I know that Audrey isn't really Audrey, and I don't know how we are going to get her back to Audrey without her being everyone else she's ever been. And I don't know if the show is going there, but I can't see an emotionally satisfying ending without the whole Nathan/Audrey relationship being addressed somehow. At least, more than last season.

Thoughts and theories? Is Nathan Audrey's true love? Any guesses on who Colin Ferguson is?

We Created the Beast- Pretty Little Liars 4X12

What the actual fuck. Also, spoilers.

The girls get a mysterious package featuring Magic 8-balls for each of the girls threatening their safety if Hannah's mom is released. So naturally, Ashley Marin is released from jail! Although, what was that business with Travis saying he can't do this in regards to the lineup? Will it be important later? Also, CeCe Drake is Wilden's murderer! So we get a few answers before another package gets sent to all the girls with various creative threats about their safety and Mona's safety. The girls race to find Mona, who has mysteriously disappeared. Toby discovers that Wren has moved to England (with Melissa) and breaks his radio silence to tell Spencer and get over himself. Cause really dude, she was right and remember the last time you left? The mental hospital? Also crazy murderous people are on the loose targeting the girls and their loved ones? Honestly, I'm not surprised they (meaning Spencer) haven't come up with a system where everyone checks in hourly.

Wren and Melissa sitting in a tree, p-l-o-t-t-i-n-g

But in the midst of the murder threats and general scariness there is time for cuddles. Aria and Jake's night is cut short by Jake falling asleep (what are you, 50? No seriously, I have no idea how old you are) and then Aria proceeds to make some spectacularly bad decisions, starting with going to a poetry reading. And then making out with Ezra.

Feels.

Aria, there are so many reasons why this is a bad idea. 1, you have a boyfriend. 2, He's you're teacher. 3, YOU KNOW YOU ARE BEING WATCHED. If I were her, I'd only kiss my teacher in a basement or a bomb shelter with the doors double bolted after checking for drill holes.

The next threatening message comes in the form of magic. Raise you're hand if you were surprised Spencer won a magic competition as a child.

They realize that there is a magic show in, you guessed it, Ravenswood. So the girls head off to Columbia, I mean Ravenswood, to go to a magic show. This should end well.

Magic is fun.

Which it does. With Emily in a box about to be sawed in half. But in a surprising turn of events, A intervenes! But which one? A chase ensues as Hannah pulls Emily out of the box. Aria uses her new found karate skills to take out CeCe, who plays dead until she can sneak away. Even though we've unmasked her as A, she's still creepy. The other A leads Spencer to the official (i.e not on wheels) lair, and the girls go through it as someone creepily watches.

In Hardy Boys world, Toby and Spencer stalk Mona's house. Toby spies Shauna leaving with Jenna's car and follows her to find Mona...knitting? What?

The girls emerge from the lair with a few treasures (Hannah stole a diary) and a whole lot more knowledge and find that the town now exists in 1800s England. What. They run into Ms. Grunwald, who enlightens the girls on some of the minor details of what's going on. Like that Ali is alive.

I wasn't surprised to find out that Ali was alive. The show had been hinting at it too much and it made a lot of sense for her to be alive. But I didn't think they were going to reveal A. For a split second, I thought it was Jake. But no, I couldn't have been more wrong.

It's Ezra.


Actually, this makes a lot of sense. We already know Ezra has a thing for teenage girls, so imagining Ezra having a relationship with Ali (possibly while he was at Holis?) isn't too difficult. Ali thinks she's pregnant, and I could see her either having an abortion or just telling Ezra she had an abortion, he gets angry and stalks and kills her. She uses his attempt to kill her as a way to hide. Ezra thinks she may be alive and cozies up to one of the girls, thinking they are hiding her. He falls in love with Aria, ergo Aria has been messed with the least, and uses CeCe (who he probably knew if he was dating Ali) and Mona to torture the girls. Mona had a reason and CeCe just seems sociopathic. As for Allison, I think she's hiding out in Ravenswood and has been protecting the girls from the A team, as she lead Spencer to the lair and saved them for the burning building.

As for the other sketchy characters? Wren, Shauna, Jenna, Mona and maybe Melissa are somehow involved Ali's "death". Or at least they think they are, probably because Wilden and Garrett are dead. But I haven't worked out all of what they're up to, maybe that will be the mystery for the next portion of the season. I think the Halloween episode will cover Caleb staying in Ravenswood and the party, giving us enough about Ezra to be satisfied for now. The next part of the season will be addressing what/why/who of Jenna, Shauna, Wren, and I have lost track of whoever else is involved in this clusterfuck.

What are your theories? Are you going to watch Ravenswood? Answer below in the comments!

"Are you Pregnant?"-Pretty Little Liars 4X11

As the girls discuss Hannah's mom, I have one very important question: Aria, in what world do people take naps in crawl spaces of basements? The detective comes over and is vaguely threatening, which felt a little out of character to me. She has spent the series trying to convince the girls she is on their side(which is doubtful) but now she's openly mean to them. All while Hannah looks like she's about to have a nervous breakdown.

I feel bad for Hannah because it is a stressful situation and I have no idea how I would deal with it, but I think taking down A would help with a lot of her problems. Her and her mom can focus on the defense, not what crazy thing A is going to pull to make things even worse. At least the random dude was able to absolve her mom. But, his sudden appearance is way to random, and I think the writers are good enough to not wrap up such an important storyline so abruptly. I think we're going to see more about this and hopefully it extends into next season.


I'm so glad Spencer told the other girls about Toby. I know that Toby wanted to keep it a secret and that the girls did push a little bit, but this dumb secret has been a low point on this season. They don't have to know everything about the case, but they do deserve to know why Toby betrayed the girls.

Paige is literally wearing a Boy Scout shirt. Let than sink in for a moment.

I think the writers are going to have Emily and Paige stay together. They could have made a clean break a few episodes ago, but they have let the complicated-ness of the end linger. There is the possibility that they are just portraying a complicated relationship and not wrapping up everything neatly, or that Paige and Emily as a couple play an important part in future A schemes.

Where does Jake go to school? How old is Jake? Given Aria's history with older men, shouldn't we discuss this? I get his whole protectiveness over Aria, but it's important Ezra tells Aria about his son. Aria was directly involved with the finding-out process, she deserves to know.

Can we talk about how the bad dancing? Just fyi, this is coming from a person who considers herself one of the worst dancers ever. Other than Jake and Aria, every other dance made this weird circle around a few poles. Also, why a hoedown? Just, why?



Next Tuesday is the season finale, so prepare yourselves! Now if you will excuse me, I'm going to check the floor in my apartment for drill holes.

"And I'm Pocahontas"-Pretty Little Liars 4X07

Hannah
It was heartbreaking to watch Hannah deal with her mom this entire episode. A has done some terrible things before, but the damaged she has inflicted seems much more real than in previous seasons. Before she was exploiting things the secrets the girls had and now she's making things up.

Emily
Okay Ms. Fields, I get that parents are supposed to take care of their children. But Hannah's dad hasn't proven himself to be parent of the year. Also, shouldn't you be impressed by what a good friend your daughter is being, rather than scold her for comforting her friend? But your daughter did get you suspended from your job. So maybe it evens out.

Okay, I'm going to talk about the elephant in the room. It's A's car addiction. Does that make it the car in the room? Jokes, y'all. In all seriousness, why are cars A's go-to weapon? How does A get all these cars? Hasn't anyone put together the number of murders and number of stolen cars in Rosewood? Are the police even trying?

Aria
Let me get this straight. A boy spreads rumors about a girl and isn't punished even though the majority of the school will corroborate that it started with him, including a teacher. But a boy on medication is suspected of destroying someone's car with out any evidence other than his medication and suddenly it's all zero-tolerance time?? What a terrible, terrible principle. But, this story line made me question who really did it. At first I thought it was Mike, but I wouldn't be surprised if it was Erza or even A. Why not get Mike in trouble along with Ashley Marin?

I'm glad Ezra helped out with the Mike situation, but the writers are totally foreshadowing the reunion of Ezria. Which I don't really care about because I think Ezra is a little creepy and kind of boring. At least Toby has that whole dead-mom drama.

Spencer
I really want Toby to tell the girls why he traded the Lair to A, because I don't like the girls arguing over it. What I do like is that they seem to be able to put the issue aside to help Hannah.

I was utterly impressed that they used gloves in Wilden's apartment. That is something you could get in trouble for, theoretically. Where is it on the Rosewood scale of crimes? Worse or better than holding a shovel?

Toby and Caleb (a.k.a The Hardy Boys)
If Toby and Caleb are the Hardy Boys, who are the girls? The Women's Murder Club? They've certainly been accused of murder enough (ba-dum psshhh).

Whatever they are, Toby and Caleb were adorable together. They threatened a bland-looking blond boy, solved a mystery, and located a plane all in the span of one episode. Murder and mystery solving are all the key elements to friendship, are they not? That's really all television has taught me, if we're being honest.

What are your theories about A? Answer below in the comments!

You're Following a Lead That Came From a Bird-Pretty Little Liars 4X06

Aria
The minute she walked over to the new guy, I knew he was going to become creepy.

I'm glad she stood up for herself because that's probably the most bad-ass thing she's done. And I'm glad the show injected some real world problems into the storyline. It's easy to forget that reality exists when everyone is being murdered or being framed for murder.

 Also, Mike, really?? I'm glad he finally believed Aria, but you are her brother. You are supposed to believe her over your classmate. And he was totally the one who wrecked the car, even thought they made it look like Ezra.


Emily


What is with the A team being freakishly good at musical instruments? Is Melissa going to start playing the trombone suddenly?
And she's in Ravenswood. What. I just...what.

Why does anyone think that A is going to let them show things to the police? At this point, any response to the police should be "don't fucking ask".

Emily Fields, master spy

And, 10,000 points to Emily for giving Connor garbage duty.

Spencer

You know what's really sad? That a show about bullying, threats, murder, and has the word "Liar" in the title portrays some of the healthiest relationships on television (I mean the ones not involving creepy older men)? I thought the apology scene between Emily and Spencer was well done, but it sucks that it came undone with the reveal of who took the lair. I get that the girls are angry at Spencer, but it's not her secret to tell. Hopefully we wrap up his mother's death quickly.


Also, what the fucking fuck was happening at Ravenswood? Everyone was clearly on drugs and then some sort of religious moment that creepily reminded me of Bioshock: Infinite happened and oh my god I really hope that Spencer and Toby did not eat the food because it was probably poison. 

Originally I was kind of meh about the whole Ravenswood thing, but they have sold me on at least watching the first episode. Some spin-offs dedicate and entire episode to the spin-off and ignore the whole show but this provided a good introduction to this town and the tone of the show. I do have a few questions though, like will they keep that filter? I thought it was cool and really added to the drugginess of everyone's behavior, but I think it would get annoying after awhile. Also, how is Caleb supposed to join the show? No matter what, he should avoid the bottles that say "Drink Me".


Hannah
Hannah is really getting the brunt of A's wrath this season. Her mom and her dad are mad at each other for very valid reasons and mad at Hannah for a very valid reason, but A is the one they should be mad at. At first I thought it was going to be something like her mom took the gun to meet with Wilden for protection, but her mom didn't know why the gun was in her purse. I smell an A set-up, because why not.

Other thoughts:

• This exchange:Toby: I'm not driving all the way back to Rosewood with low-blood sugar Spencer. That's worse than no-caffeine Spencer." Spencer: "Wow, your girlfriend sounds awesome.
• Is Grunwald the Big Bad for Ravenswood then?
• Masks are creepy.

Don't Behead Me, I'm Behind-Game of Thrones 2X03

Tyrion
I'm glad he's finding a way to keep Shae around without killing her. She's an entertaining character and I like the two of them together. I hope Sansa doesn't catch on and reveal Shae's true identity to Cersei, because I could see that happening based on Sansa's reaction to Shae.
And finally we get clues as to why Cersei could have murdered the two previous Hands.

Aria and Gendry

Smart move Aria. But now I'm concerned. I thought that she and Gendry would run away and somehow end up at Winterfell, but that is looking less and less likely with the events of this episode.


Theon Greyjoy

Asshole. I mean, I get that the Starks kept you prisoner and that was kind of terrible, but you're father is awful. Go find your own thing to do instead of playing second fiddle to your father or the Starks. I'd like you better if you did that (but not by much. You're still terrible).

Moriarty and husband
Yay Natalie Dormer! And yay for your husband's sexuality not being a secret or a big deal! Although, I really don't think people will be suspicious of him for them not getting pregnant, it will probably be her fault (patriarchy y'all). But still, both of you seem like lovely people, which means someone will die soon. This is what Joss Whedon has taught me.

Brienne

I have been eagerly awaiting the arrival of Brienne, mostly because Tumblr and one of my friends loves her. Thoughts so far? A+ character. She has more honor than any male knight I've seen so far.


Thoughts for next episode:

• I hope Bran and John Snow's storylines start to get more interesting. I feel like they are setting up for something, but I don't know what

Don't Behead Me, I'm Behind-Game of Thrones 2X02

My hard drive crashed so now I'm even behind on being behind. From now on, once post a day. I promise.


I'm only a fan of brothels if there's singing or Edith Piaf. I really do not care about the man running the brothel. I understand it is important that Joffrey is killing all of his father's bastards, but I really do not care about Littlefinger teaching women how to have sex. Also, too many naked women in the background. I know George R. R. Martin has this quote about writing women as human, but he only seems to do this to the main women and writes naked women into the background. I know it's a patriarchal culture, but that's not an excuse.

Theon Greyjoy. I don't like you. I think you are a misogynist and you are slowly creeping up the do-not-like scale (at the end of the season I will put all the characters on a scale. It'll be fun). Also. You. Tried. To. Seduce. Your. Sister. That is all.

So this whole conspiracy about what Craster is doing with his sons reminds me of every time anti-choicers talk about sex-selective abortion. I know it happens it other countries, but not in America. I think they think women are sacrificing children to some sort of god? I know it's not really what happens, but it's such a ridiculous reasoning to be anti-choice that this is what my mind comes up with.

I'm really enjoying the inclusion of Old Gods vs. New Gods. Its very Battlestar-y to me I guess? And, I like a world where there is religious debate and doesn't include current perceptions of religion. I think its really boring if you create a whole other world and keep Christianity as a religion. Almost as boring as making every fantastical world be medieval England.

Aria and Robert's Bastard. Interesting duo? They both know each other's secrets and seem okay with them. I kinda want them to run away and adventure across the kingdom together because it could be fun.